maybe someday

I got a job today(: but my mom just shit talked it and basically said I was going to get fired right away the whole car ride home. Bitch:/

Had an excellent day, though. We went shopping and got lunch this morning, outfits for today and the wedding tomorrow. Mine is really cute even if it is all from J. Crew.

And my intake has been soooo badass!!

b - grande nonfat caramel latte (110)

l - half a chicken caesar salad, no dressing (??? can't be much)

d - nothing. probably not going to eat anything else, but if i do it'll be like a sandwich or something.

I just weighed myself this morning for the first time in ages (like a month or two), and I lost 10 pounds!!! 

Tell me about your plans for the weekend(:

here is my clear, logical pitch for being pro-fatass

Oh wait. There isn't one. It's probably because there's no excuse to be so unhealthy, and one certainly shouldn't have the balls to request that the rest of the world accommodate to fit their dimply ass. 

I was just poking around Lovelyish and (of course) came across a post by some lone fatty whining about how most stores don't carry a size 16, and all I've got to say to that is are you fucking kidding me???

I don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear any of your stupid excuses for why you are so fat (hint: it's probably because you're lazy and/or don't have much self-control) because those are invalid. You should not be fat, just like you shouldn't smoke or do drugs or not wash your hands after you shit, it's unhealthy. And just like absolutely no one should spend the time or resources to open a safe haven in which to do meth, designers shouldn't spend the extra hundreds of thousands of dollars to have all their clothes made in 5 more sizes, each one using more fabric and costing them more money so that Fatty Dumplings over here can feel cool in her Urban Outfitters dress, even though she doesn't look cute in it and it's just been affirmed to Fatty D that it is, in fact, just fine to keep on putting herself at risk for heart disease and an assortment of other ailments in addition to the social stigma of being a fucking fatass.

Which brings me to the logic bit of all this, if there are absolutely no upsides to being fat, it's all awful downsides (and doesn't even sound cool. Sound it out. FFFFFAAAAATTTTT. Gross, right?) then why the holy hell should any sort of accommodations be made on such a large scale to suit you in all your sweaty, dimply glory?!?!?!

If you're fine with being unhealthy, (and probably very uncomfortable in a lot of situations, and having low self esteem, and... should I go on?) then be fat on your own time and dime, fucko. Don't make post upon countless post (which, by the way, is NOT being read by the powers that be and all you've done is rally together a bunch of other "curvy" [you are not curvy. Don't make me say it] girls to sit and be angry together. Over a snack) about "discrimination against fat people" or whatever the fuckitty fuck your cause is. It's both illogical and unethical to continue to enable your growing waistline, so make your own clothes if you're so irritated that no one carries a size 20. I mean where does it stop? Should absolutely every clothing company in the world make clothes that will fit even the fattest person?

Oh, and people with medical disorders are an entirely different story, by the way. They did not have a choice, but that also doesn't mean they can't lose weight. My cousin is middle aged and has PCOS (both of these make it very difficult for you to lose weight, for those who didn't know) and she's lost lots of weight, and as far as I know is continuing to. If you really want something, you'll find a way to make it happen. Or give up and have a snack; your move fatty.

(You can think I'm biased because of my layout, or the basis of my xanga, or whatever, but here's the kicker: I'm right.)

Please rec this girls. All of this obesity-coddling is so infuriating.

and you'll be too much for some

fresh starts are my favorite. i found/recovered myself today, i think. it feels so good and i think i've finally figured out my cycle, which will really help me get a lot more done.

i had some really exciting ideas today. i love ideas like these but i hate how it always feels like if you tell anybody it'll fuck it up.

okay but anyways point being i totally found myself and i printed out a bunch of pictures i use as my triggers. one of marilyn (obviously) a couple of the homeland (la), other varying ones of money (yachts, centurion card, piles of cash) and a frank sinatra quote. i'm going to take down my magazine ads and just put up these pictures. or i could finish the magazine wall, make a cool border/get a frame for my vision board and put it like right in the middle.

and i have to redo my room to make the change official and then i feel like i'm probably on my way even though i already am and was there but need to get back and go farther (.....hahahaha if anyone can understand my train of thought..) and i want to paint it a pinker nude this time. 

but at least i'm finally figuring out who i am. jeez. it's so annoying when it feels like i just left myself and can't do anything.

does anybody else watch the oc while they get ready in the morning? i have to or my day doesn't go right ahahahaha.

anyyyyways this new project i'm going to get started on is really exciting, AAH i wanna tell you guys but you know how that goes. 

soo plan for tomorrow! wake up. 6 7 8 am, go running, get ready, stop by school, come home get more work done, hang out with f? clean macbook, mani/pedi, turn that one pair of true religions into shorts, if it's nice out go shopping.

......I WILL BE SKINNY AGAIN

i recently realized how fat i've gotten, FUCK THAT

so i'm going to start running again in the morning and stop cheating on my diet like a piece of shit.

i ketchup !

TELL ME HOW YOUR CHRISTMASES WENTTT.